URK

yeah, my instincts serve me right. confirmation jus disgusted me. i finally experience what i always write in compositions back in secondary school - a wave of disgust, sick stomach and all. its all very true.

its funny how one will suppress love for another and have fondness for the other. i dont understand how people do that. i mean, if you love someone - wouldnt you wanna be with her? wouldnt you want her to be urs? instead of crapping about hiding how you feel? wouldnt you not allow your vunerable self to be exposed to new feelings? haha.

i jus had to leave my place and head over to watch Trainspotting. which was by the way, very nice. i could fall asleep in your arms. but hell, i really couldnt do it. i didnt feel shit. i think im losing my interest in men. im truly turning gay.

like i was speaking to James today when i was doing my hair: people change, that place is cursed and all sorts of crazy things. haha. apparently, the James at Le who helped that "assistant" with setting my hair when i was there the previous time are pretty good friends with James. ah well, James was pretty comforting. i think he understands how wretched i feel. but anyhoo, my hair is prettier now *yay* enough said (:

that wave of disgust jus hit me in the stomach again.